The Royal Society of the Confidently Correct Certain
Edition v7.17.2026 · Merchandise available. Refunds considered, then reconsidered, then declined with dignity.
The Society Shop

Regalia for the Confidently Certain

Wear the conviction. Frame the Fellowship. Everything here is made to order, so nothing exists until you are certain, which is to say briefly.

The Society crest
Certi, non recti

One crest. Every indignity.

A fake learned society ought to issue regalia, so we do. A weathervane that points both ways, a floating apostrophe, and a motto that promises certainty while admitting error. Wear it, frame it, seal your letters with it.

The Fellowship

Certificate of Fellowship

Elevation to the Society, suitable for framing.

Certificate of Fellowship
Keystone item

Be it known to all persons of firm and temporary conviction that the bearer is hereby elected a Fellow, admitted to all privileges, opinions, and reversals thereof. Held in perpetuity, or until the Society reconsiders, whichever comes first.

Included free, as a personalised digital certificate, with any paid subscription. Printed editions to follow.

Become a Fellow
Phone Theme

Carry your certainty

Copper & Ink for your phone. Choose a piece, agree to the terms, and it downloads on its own as a single file, ready to set.

Society app icon

App Icon

The crest, squared for your home screen.

Static wallpaper

Static Wallpaper

The glowing medallion, lock-screen safe.

Animated Theme

The weathervane wavers, the glow breathes.

The Collection

The full range

One crest, applied across regalia, fabric and paper.

Hero itemsFull catalogue
By the Fellows

Character Drinkware

A coffee mug and an insulated tumbler for every correspondent, each in their era’s colour.

Character mugs and insulated tumblers for all twelve correspondents
At launch

Character Column Mug

11oz ceramic in your correspondent’s colour, with their sigil and column. Choose your Fellow.

Made to order
At launch

Insulated Tumbler

Double-walled 20oz stainless, sigil and column in era colour. Keeps convictions hot, or cold, whichever you later regret.

Made to order
Line 1

The Institutional Line

What a real Royal Society issues its Fellows, played straight.

At launch

Certificate of Fellowship

Framable diploma. Free digital version with any paid subscription.

Made to order
At launch

Enamel Fellowship Pin

Hard-enamel crest pin in Society copper.

Made to order
bundled

Fellow's Membership Card

Foil card. In good standing, for the time being.

Made to order
At launch

Wax Seal & Stamp

Brass seal engraved with the crest, plus wax.

Made to order
At launch

The Fellow's Handbook

A pocket booklet of the Society's absurd bylaws.

Made to order
At launch

Instrument of Revised Opinion

A recantation pad. One form per change of mind.

Made to order
At launch

The Order of Certainty

A medal on ribbon. Certainty, First Class.

Made to order
At launch

Appointment Scroll

Names you Correspondent-at-Large. No duties, no pay.

Made to order
At launch

Brass Desk Plaque

Fellow in Residence. The top-shelf object.

Made to order
Line 2

Wearables

The conviction, worn in public.

At launch

The Motto Tee

Certi, non recti. Cryptic until translated.

Made to order
At launch

"Subject to Revision" Tee

The whole thesis, wearable.

Made to order
At launch

Crest Sweatshirt

Collegiate embroidery, the university-jumper joke done straight.

Made to order
At launch

The Collegiate Scarf

Striped in Society colours, embroidered crest.

Made to order
At launch

Embroidered Flat Cap

Mr Fickle's own headwear.

Made to order
At launch

Society Socks

All-over apostrophe. Low-stakes impulse buy.

Made to order
Line 3

Desk & Print

For the essayist's desk, shelf and wall.

At launch

The Reversalist Mug

Firmly held, briefly held convictions.

Made to order
At launch

Opinions Notebook

For convictions you will shortly abandon.

Made to order
At launch

Letterpress Broadside

A full essay, set beautifully, framable.

Made to order
At launch

The Society Tea Towel

Peak fake-Victorian domesticity.

Made to order
At launch

Coaster Set

This opinion subject to condensation.

Made to order
At launch

Sigil Sticker Pack

All eight correspondents. Seeds the joke everywhere.

Made to order
By the Fellows

Character Screen Backgrounds

A moving wallpaper for each correspondent: their face, their colour, their conviction. Agree to the terms and it downloads as a single video, ready to set.

Mr Fickle moving background

Mr Fickle

Edwardian · c.1905 · The Reversal

Gaius Acerbus moving background

Gaius Acerbus

Rome · c.100 AD · The Long Decline

Brother Aldric moving background

Brother Aldric

Medieval · c.1340 · Marginalia

Monsieur Lumière moving background

Monsieur Lumière

Enlightenment · 1760s · By Reason Alone

Kitty Marlowe moving background

Kitty Marlowe

Roaring Twenties · 1926 · Last Call

Herb Stubbs moving background

Herb Stubbs

Mid-century · 1955 · Back In My Day

Kai Calloway moving background

Kai Calloway

Present day · California · This Changes Everything

Deacon Otis moving background

Deacon Otis

Contemporary · From the Back Pew

Bundles

Ways to join

Fellowship, from free to fully furnished.

Free

Provisional Member

A digital certificate on signup. Costs you nothing, flatters you enormously.

Paid subscriber

Fellow

Digital Certificate of Fellowship + membership card, issued the moment you subscribe.

At launch

The Fellow's Kit

Printed certificate, enamel pin and foil card in a Society folder.

At launch

The Founder's Box

Certificate, pin, card, scarf, wax seal, handbook and medal. For the truly certain.

Join the Society

Become a Fellow

Subscribe to be elected, receive your certificate, and be first to the shop.